There are 3 ways to keep your kids from being spoiled, no matter how rich you are

Rich kids might evoke the stereotype of spoiled trust-fund babies, but many high-net-worth parents are trying to raise the opposite of that.

Rachel Sherman, the author of “Uneasy Street: The Anxieties of Affluence,” wrote after interviewing 50 affluent New York families that most feared their children would be entitled.

They want their kids to be healthy and happy and to have purpose, Judy Spalthoff, the executive director and head of family and philanthropy advisory at UBS Wealth Management, told Business Insider. “It’s about making the wealth helpful and an opportunity versus a burden and not discouraging them from following their own path,” she said.

As the Washington Post writer Thomas Heath puts it, rich people want their kids to be advantaged but not at the cost of ambition.

The biggest concern of one client Spalthoff worked with who didn’t graduate from college and built his business and wealth on his own was that his children would lack the significant drive he had. “It’s an incredible fine line,” she said.

While some kids of wealthy parents may be relying on inheritance in the form of cash or assets, Spalthoff says parents can use a three-pronged approach to raise productive and unspoiled children: don’t give them everything they want, allow them to work, and let them fail.

Those three things, she said, “are vital to the success of being productive members of society.”

While Spalthoff sees a lot of families consciously aware of how their wealth can affect their kids, the biggest mistakes they can make are not allowing for these three things, she says.