If you’re looking for a special holiday gift for that certain someone who has everything, may I suggest today’s Nice Price or No Dice Miyagata Hearse? This privately-imported coffin-carrier might make for the perfect secret Santa gift, that is if the price is right.
A few of you saw the makings of a hearse in yesterday’s custom 1966 Mustang wagon. Or maybe you were just projecting that project car’s ultimate fate? At any rate, $12,900 was seemingly too much for so projected a project and the Mustang was put down with an 81 percent No Dice loss.
Hey, are you awake? Many Americans are just now shaking off the Tryptophan food coma that results from the annual gorge-fest fest known as Thanksgiving. What a wonderful opportunity to gather with loved ones and learn what awful opinions they all have. In their defense, you did promise not to bring up Elon Musk at the table, you know.
Now that we’re through that mess, however, it’s time to tackle yet another hurdle. This being the day after Thanksgiving means that it’s (camera zooms in) Black Friday! For most people, Black Friday connotes mad deals on unnecessary consumer goods fought over at superspreader sales events. For others, however, Black Friday implies (camera zooming intensifies) death. Don’t ask me how I know this.
For those of us who prefer morbidity to midnight mall outings, may I present this 1991 Toyota Crown Dragon Hearse? I mean, who wouldn’t want to travel to their final resting place (mine is hopefully an urn on the fireplace mantle in Salma Hayek’s bedroom) in so ornate a chariot as this?
The Miyagata, or shrine-shape hearse, is a type of Reikyusha, the purpose of which is to transport the dearly departed from the mortuary to the crematorium. Underneath is a typical hearse, with a coffin slide and lock-downs inside, but around that is built a gilded cap resembling a Shinto shrine. In Japan, the level of the hearse’s ornamentation is generally regional, with some areas preferring more subdued styles and others liking to go all-in on going out.
This one looks to be one of the latter and is built on a Toyota Crown Super Deluxe wagon base. That keeps the car’s original rear doors below the greenhouse and all of its front clip, with the result looking a bit like a Vegas elf’s RV.
This generation of Crown was powered by a 2.5 liter 1G-FE DOHC straight-six with 177 horsepower and more importantly, 173 lb-ft of torque. Implying stately composure, the car is equipped with a four-speed automatic sending those ponies to the back wheels. As evidenced by the pictures in the ad, the Crown’s suspension seems to be struggling at the task of supporting the Reikyusha structure on the back. I can’t imagine what happens when you add an occupied casket to the mix.
Separate from the hearse part, the condition of which is difficult to gauge from the pictures, the car looks to be in decent shape. The ad notes a “ slightly tweaked” rear bumper and some scratches in the paint along one side. A new battery and brake bleed seem to be the extent of the recent maintenance, but with just 54,282 miles on the clock and it being a Toyota, you might not expect it to need much else.
Obviously, this is a privately imported vehicle, and as such there are certain caveats to its ownership. A funny one is that the importer is located in California, but notes emphatically in the ad that the car cannot be registered in California, and hence cannot be sold to a California resident unless they plan to keep the car out of state. That being said, the seller also notes that California sales tax will apply if the delivery of the car is in California. Why does life have to be so complicated?
As the seller is an importer — literally named Vans From Japan — they seemingly have taken care of most of the import paperwork, duties, and whatnot. And, as long as you’re not in one of those states like Maine that is rescinding registration on private imports willy-nilly, then you should do just fine with getting this Crown on the road with little problem. Plus, should you be buying this for your own use, you likely won’t care since you’ll be dead. Let the kids deal with the hassle!
Ok, so we’ve figured out what this is, and most of us have determined that we must have it right now since we’re in a Black Friday shopping frenzy, so let’s see if it’s affordable.
The asking price is $9,000 and while that’s not Chucky Cheese “here’s a few bucks, go and play, kids” kind of money, it’s not crazypants expensive either, right? What do you think, is $9,000 a fair deal for a car with such sarcophagusto? Or, does that price mean it’s dead to you?
You decide!
Sacramento, California, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.
H/T to Brandon Baxley for the hookup!
Help me out with NPOND. Hit me up at rob@jalopnik.com and send me a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your Kinja handle.
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