This World Series is depressing as hell, just like many other things that are happening right now and which we have no control over. Neither the Houston Astros nor the Washington Nationals (my team) have managed to win a home game. At Game 3, people were literally crying as we left the stadium, which was mainly because of beer consumption but also because being disappointed alongside people you really love over something you really care about is disappointing and terrifying and very, very sad. Last night, a beloved leader was even thrown out of the game for fighting hard for what he believed in.
On top of that, all the calls have been bogus. Trea Turner was in the baseline. The strike zone is now some kind of ephemeral transforming monster depending on the pitcher. The people in charge of the game keep interfering in ways that disrupt the players’ (who are very good at their jobs) ability to do the thing they are paid to do, and thus not only cheapening the wins, but muddying the losses. Things do not look like they will get better. Tonight, someone will lose.
With that in mind, here are the best candies to stress eat, ranked:
1. Getting hit by a bus
2. Gummy Bears/Worms
3. Starburst
4. Big League Chew
5. Candy Corn
6. Jolly Ranchers
7. Airheads
8. M&Ms
9. Skittles
10. Fun Dip
11. Lifesavers
12. Baby Ruth
13. Kit Kats
14. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
15. Milk Duds
16. PopRocks
17. Jawbreakers
18. Atomic fireball
19. Cadbury Egg
20.Tootsie Pop
21. Warheads
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