Automotive

Great Job, Dummy, Your Car Looks Like a Pre-Owned Tampon


I’ll be honest, my finger must have slipped off the pulse of the automotive nation, because I was unaware that making your car look like it’s just driven through a slaughterhouse is A Thing, at least until I started seeing blood-spattered cars showing up various places online. I saw a post about them again earlier today, and decided to see what’s going on. All I really know is that this exists, and not in isolation. Turning your car into a giant used tampon exists.

If you Google “blood splatter car wrap,” you’ll find many, many examples of this baffling trend. I showed some to our own wonderful Kristen Lee, who noted that


…which is a pretty good point, and I’m guessing not the point these people were trying to make.

But that leads to a great question: what is the point these wraps are trying to make? Hey, fellow motorists, I engage in murders? I enjoy killing people, but hate washing my car? My car has hemophilia?

I really don’t get this. At all.

I’m not alone—it looks like someone with a blood-spatter-wrapped BMW super-tampon was pulled over in Germanybut later released because “awful taste is not a crime.”

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This particular Range Rover seems to have been wrapped for Halloween, which, okay, does make some sense. Plus, this person got very, very clever with theirs:


Okay, for Halloween, that’s pretty good. If this stays on all year, well, then, we’ve got issues.

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If those are issues you have, you can buy these online. There’s people in the world asking about blood-spatter wraps for Priuses. You can even buy special bloody faces for your Jeep. If you really want your car to look like a murder weapon/tampon, be aware that you live in a golden age of possibility.

Look, it’s your car, you do whatever you want to it. Spatter it with whatever bodily fluids move you. Your car, your vision.

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I’m just not sure what to think of someone who wants their car to look like this, though. Your choice of car says a lot about you, so if you want yours to evoke either a horrific nightmare or just remind people of the miracle of menses, then, I guess have at it?

I want to know what you think—who would drive a car with a wrap like this? Any of you? If so, why? WHY?

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