Sports

Here’s Anaheim Ducks Captain Ryan Getzlaf’s Chicken Coop, A Marker Of Our Times


Ryan Getzlaf. He has some chickens.

Ryan Getzlaf. He has some chickens.
Photo: Getty

NHL players are pretty much like every other athlete during this Coronavirus shutdown. Some are bored. More importantly, some are contributing to the cause in any way they can. Most are just waiting around like all of us.

And then there’s Ryan Getzlaf and his chicken coop.

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There are jokes to be made about Getzlaf eventually eating these chicken live…which I will make. Getzlaf has always seemed like the type who claims he lights his own farts on fire to entertain his children as a front for how much he enjoys it. Also the type to pull discarded deserts out of the trash. So eating a live chicken seems reasonable.

There are jokes about how chickens are prone to just flutter about the edges of their pen in various patterns without being caught in the middle. Pets follow their owners, after all. Perhaps when the Getzlaf family comes to harvest the eggs, and finds the chickens nowhere to be found, they’ll know how Ducks fans have felt the past decade when looking for Getzlaf at critical moments.

Or perhaps Anze Kopitar, or Jonathan Toews, or Ryan Johansen, or Henrik Zetterberg can come over and take Getzlaf’s eggs. He’s been so kind to them in springs past.

Maybe it’s all a rouse, and really the house is for Corey Perry and the failing efforts to housebreak his former running buddy. Who’s to say?

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Anyway, these are the times we live in currently.

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