Wh-wh-what am I looking at? That’s what you’re probably stammering right now, soaked in sweat, and, if so equipped, possible sporting the most disturbing confusion-boner you’ve ever had. A little car. Looks like a GM T-car platform. With a… a… G…M…C… badge? What the fuck is happening to me?
This, my friends, is where madness happens. Don’t flinch– it’ll just make it worse. Look at it. Confront it. Understand it.
What you’re seeing here is a GMC Chevette, made in Argentina by GMC Argentina. It’s the same platform as all the other Chevettes, be they Vauxhall, Chevy, Daewoo (Maepsy), Opel (Kadett), Pontiac (T-1000) and so on. It’s not so scary after all, is it?
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I mean, yes, it is. It’s the only true passenger car to ever wear the GMC badge, and as such, the human brain is unable to process it. Rumor has it that over 50% of the cases of adult-onset schizophrenia were caused by people looking directly at these cars.
Be careful out there; the world can be an unknowable, unfathomable place, with madness lurking in the boot of every GMC Chevette, like one of the Old Ones, slumbering at the bottom of the sea.
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Waiting.
(Thanks (?) to Jim Hall)
Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.
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