Automotive

The 2019 Porsche Panamera Sport Turismo’s Exhaust Can Cure Your Existential Dread

We can’t stop talking about how great the 2019 Porsche Panamera Turbo Sport Turismo looks, but we should also be discussing how great it sounds. It is the serous-business limousine with a noise that can strike terror into anyone, and also make them feel that strange, fuzzy feeling in their stomach.

It’s a good sound. When driving, it makes me feel important. While throttling this car on the side of the street across from the office, it immediately renders any feelings of public embarrassment mute, attracting looks and spreading smiles from the people already drinking in the bar across the street in the early afternoon.

They should be embarrassed they don’t get to enjoy the driving pleasure of the Panamera. And that they’re already day-drinking. I’m going to go off and enjoy the grumbly exhaust note in sport-plus mode down the avenues of Manhattan.

It’s the exhaust that cured my existential shock after scratching a $175,000 car. It’s a good noise. It’s a loyal noise. And I am loyal to it, as well.

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