U.S. Air Force Draws Giant Dick in the Sky, Claims It Was an Accident

The dick-resulting maneuvers were the result of a simulated dogfight, in which two fifth-generation F-35s (which cost around $90 million each to build, and $44,000 an hour to fly) pursued four old model F-35s above Luke Air Force Base in Arizona. One wonders if the stealth aspects of these machines aren’t overridden by loudly painting a cock in your exact position, visibly for miles around.

According to Major Rebecca Heyse, Luke’s public affairs chief for the 56th Fighter Wing, “senior leadership reviewed the training tapes from the flight and confirmed that F-35s conducting standard fighter training maneuvers Tuesday afternoon in the Gladden and Bagdad military operating airspace resulted in the creation of the contrails. There was no nefarious or inappropriate behavior during the training flight.” According to everyone else who reviewed images circulating on social media, however, these very appropriate and non-nefarious contrails in every way resemble a huge wang.

And drawing a sky dick, intentionally or accidentally, is not without precedent. The Navy disciplined two pilots that used their EA-18G Growler to draw a very similar shape in the sky nearly two years ago. A non-military pilot who, it can be inferred was bored, used his plane to spell out the words “I’m bored” after also maneuvering in the shape of two penises earlier this year.